Coming Out of the Clouds

Maybe it’s obvious, but digging about in the brain can have some deleterious effects. My greatest fear from the start of this adventure in brain science and chemistry from the beginning of this adventure in brain structure and chemistry has been a potential loss of function — of cognitive ability. Thinking is fundamental to my life in terms of enjoyment (“figuring stuff out” and social interaction . Is my need  greater than others?. I doubt it. But the act of  thinking is fundamental to my being .  So when the surgeon said I’d have some vision issues, it concerned me. After the first major surgery on July 27, the After the first surgery, my recovery was speedy physically but vision issuesmanifested in the most curious way. I began to see amusing figures floating in spaceAfter the first major surgery on July 27. This manifested in the most curious ways. I began to see amusing figures floating in space–Little glyphsdrawn in pen and ink it appeared, that looked as if they drawn in mid-air in pen. Yes. Hallucinations. I was entertained however. Especially when Marvin the Martian appeared on a nurse’s shoulder.

The best waswhen a very attractive goat skin cap floated out of the wall directly at me. It had a nice little brim and was covered in brown and white goat hair. it seemed as if I could have reached out for it and put it on. Fantastic.

These hallucinations have largely gone, but sometimes when a group of people is walking toward me on the sidewalk, a gnome-like creature will join them on their trek. There’s a name for this:”peduncular hallucinosis.but don’t expect me to go on about my invisible friends.”  They aren’t that interesting. And conversation doesn’t seem to be their strong suit — at least with me, so lucky for you I won’t be going on about my invisible friends..

The other difficulty is a change in vision generally It seems as if my glasses are dirty all the time. The surgeon predicted some vision issues due to the resection location: the right frontal lobe. I can get around fine. Public trnsport presentspresents no issues. the biggest frustration is reduction in my left peripheral vision. I haven’t been driving since my first seizure — since it’snot allowed by law just in case one occurs while on the road… And the worst effect has been rather  cloudy thinking. Again — resolving now. The first sign I was coming out of the clouds was, oddly enough, waking in the middle of the night — but I awoke thinking and solving some problem or another.

This entry was posted in I have no earthly idea, No. 06 – Tell the Truth. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Coming Out of the Clouds

  1. plastichabit says:


    Grrrr! I just tried leaving a comment and went on a wild goose chase resetting passwords and what not, but it doesn’t look like it went through. So here I go again.

    So glad to see you posting. I’ve visited the blog a few times in the past few weeks for an update and I’m now rewarded with stories of gnomes and foggy glasses. We should definitely harness your super powers in visualization to finish “Prison Chicks.” This will sound overly ambitious, but what are the chances of getting it done before the end of the year? We owe it to the world!

    Best wishes to you and your “wife” (?) on this gluttonous holiday.

  2. Elisa says:

    Oliver Sacks just came out with a new book on hallucinations called, oddly enough, “Hallucinations.” Apparently they are very common, and usually not connected to psychosis. I have an acquaintance who has heard voices since he was a small child–just a set of crossed wires in his auditory cortex, not indicative of mental illness at all! Anyway, glad to see you still posting. Happy Thanksgiving, Kevin–

  3. Thanks so much for the update Kevin – wishing you and your wife(!!) a wonderful Thanksgiving. Hoping to spend time together again in person soon. – hlp

  4. Susan Morse says:

    Dear Kevin,
    Thank you for your blog entry. Any word or combination of words is always a pleasure from you. I am fascinated to hear about the gnomes, little stick figures, as well as the fact that you are waking up trying to solve problems in the night. That’s a good thing as long as you get your sleep! …says Suzie the insomniac!

    Documenting all of this is a contribution to science, but it is also an important contribution to our sense of connection with you. We all want to feel closer to you, and to participate as much as possible in your experiences. Whatever you feel comfortable writing is welcomed.

    Perhaps this will give you an insight into those who see differently. Lexi is working with people with some ‘differences’ who are also taking lots of drugs. So, she has learned a lot about voices, gnomes, etc. She says the organization’s ‘policy’ is not to be terribly concerned, unless the gnomes start dominating the discussions and winning the arguments!
    So watch out for that! As long as you, or Annie, have the final word, you can enjoy the gnomes as a side show.

    I hope that California is still on your radar. If you come, we will find you.

    Have a delicious holiday.
    Susan (and family)

  5. Hugh says:

    Hi, Kevin,
    Annie had written that a blog might be forthcoming. Thanks. This clears up briefer comments from your wife. (Get used to the term. I find it handier.) A mentally full -functioning Kevin has always been a joy, and I’m glad to recognize him in what you post.

  6. Rob says:

    Great to hear from you Kev, looking forward to the NewYear and can’t wait to get you and Annie out to Dixon!

  7. Diana de Forest says:

    Dear Kevin,

    You sound like yourself! I hope the vision (the “dirty glasses syndrome”) clears up. Lots of love and hoping you & Annie & your assorted best pals have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
    xo D + C + D + A

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